The Story of Remembrance Day

A lot of Canadians have misconceptions on what Remembrance Day really is. Some of our young people even refuse to wear the red poppy, saying that it’s associated with war. Instead, they wear a white poppy with the word “peace” on it.

But their actions are seriously misinformed, and might, in fact, have the deadliest consequences. For not only is the red poppy not associated with war, the white “peace” poppy has a most terrible association: the impending Robot Uprising of 2032.

I know what you’re thinking. First, how can I know about this uprising? And second, how can it already have a planned date? And third, if it has a planned date, can we not prevent it?

You’re right to be skeptical. I myself was when I walked into that bar that night. I ordered a vodka lime soda. I’m somewhat allergic to beer, and even wine sits a bit heavy. The beer allergy seems fairly new, and I’m not sure just what the F is up, but for some reason nowadays, I have a little beer and I start to feel nauseous. (Yes, nauseous, grammar Nazis. The “incorrect” usage now has more widespread usage than the “correct” usage of “nauseated”, meaning it will soon be accepted as the primary usage. So back off, I’m trying to have a drink here.)

Anyway, I was at that bar, and I decided to just find my own booth and play some Fruit Ninja. It had been a while since I’d played it, and like many games on my iPhone, it had a few weeks of novelty and regular play, and then it suddenly vanished from my life like I had never derived pleasure from it. But, there was this part of me that just wondered if it was an attention span issue. Is it possible I was done with the game, or had something newer and shinier simply distracted me from it?

“Is that Fruit Ninja?” said a voice.

I’m going to skip ahead a bit. The guy in the trench coat turned out to be a robot and told me about the Robot Uprising of 2032. Obviously, I killed him by surreptitiously connecting to his wi-fi radio  and uploading a virus via the iIndependence iDay app.

Oh wait, I almost forgot, there was this one part where he told me about how the white poppy was part of the assimilation program, using widespread social programming. But then he also seemed to suggest the red poppy was part of some prior effort? Guys, I don’t know, truth be told, I’d actually had quite a few vodka lime sodas.

Here’s the takeaway: Fruit Ninja is still worth playing. But I think we can all agree that it’s a relic of the past that we’ll soon leave behind.