Are You With the Right Partner?* (* NOW WITH MORE T-REX)

Original story discovered here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=656437111052603&set=a.560340610662254.23312430.554481657914816

And now, with more T-Rex…

During a seminar, a woman asked, “How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”

In all seriousness, she answered: “How do you know?”

“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind,” replied the author. “Here’s the answer–”

Suddenly, an individual named Jonathan Thunderous T-Rexington III cleared his throat. He was a T-Rex.

“Pardon me,” said the spectacled T-Rex, startling the humans in the seminar. “But I want to just clarify what just happened. A woman asked if she was with the right person. You,” he said, motioning with his small clawed hands at the author, “pointed to the fat man next to her and asked if that was her partner. She said, ‘How do you know,’ and then you said, ‘Chances are good it’s weighing on your mind.’ ”

“Y-Yes,” the author stammered, staring at the T-Rex’s long teeth.

“Well,” said the T-Rex, “already this sequence of events doesn’t make sense. Was the woman expressing bewilderment in that you know it was her partner? If so, this was not difficult because they arrived together and sat next to each other. In which case your answer meant you were about to reveal the ability to draw simple conclusions. Or was she literally unsure as to whether that was her partner. In which case, she has dementia, and being unsure would weigh on one’s mind.”

“Or,” continued the T-Rex, “was she ignoring her partner, and continuing with her original question. As were you, in which case this fat man is being slighted by everyone.”

“I…was there a question?” said the author.

“Terribly sorry,” said the T-Rex, “I know I tend to ramble. So, again, for clarification, does that woman have dementia and are you humoring her?”

“How dare you!” said the woman. “I honestly want to know how you know if you’re with the right partner.”

“Is that tasty-looking man next to you your partner?” asked the T-Rex.


“Then I’d wager you’re not with the right partner.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you brought him to a seminar where you questioned the validity of your relationship publicly. Or because you have dementia. Either way, who your partner is does not seem like the pressing problem for you to deal with.”

“Sir, that’s quite enough,” said the author. “You are interrupting this seminar, and I’m just trying to help this woman with her relationship.”

The T-Rex frowned. “Aren’t you an author of young adult steampunk vampire fiction?”

“Well… yes.”

“Then I’m afraid you’re not going to help her.”

“Sir,” said the author. “Either sit down and be quiet, or please leave.”

“Hmm,” said the T-Rex, “I think I have a better, third option.”

And with that, he promptly ate everyone at the seminar.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It’s up to you to decide to treat your partner respectfully, or end up eaten by a T-Rex.

I'm a product designer, author, humorist, and web developer. You can find me on Twitter.