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It is a strange thing, love
It is a strange thing,Love.You can hold, in your brain,the knowledge of the hormonesand neural patternsand social conditioningand all the rational elementsof the artifice of love. And yet. It is there, just the same,alone with youin your rationalizations…A soft whisperin your consciousness,that despite what you know,it just doesn’t matter.The experience of lovewill bewill bewill bejust […]
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The Frog and the Scorpion* (*NOW WITH MORE T-REX)
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion […]
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The Congressman
The Congressman groaned, and slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the bright lights of the room. “What… what in the — ” “Ah, Congressman, you’re awake!” A man in a white coat suddenly appeared next to him. “Where… where am I?” The Congressman rubbed his forehead. “Saint Rita of Cascia Hospital. Just outside Washington, D.C.” “I don’t… […]
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I Don’t Care What You Say, Sanrio, Hello Kitty is a Cat!
A rant from a person on the Internet. Okay, look, man, full disclosure, I don’t know anything about Hello Kitty, but as far as I can tell, that thing is a cat. And then you’re telling me, some company I’ve never heard of, Sanrio or something, suddenly declares it’s not a cat? Well F THAT. […]
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Dangerous Punctuation
Originally published on Figment on April 18, 2012, as a dramatization of this Github thread, in which Bootstrap opted not to use semi-colons in their JavaScript, which didn’t work in Douglas Crockford’s JSMin (and didn’t make Mr. Crockford very happy). Not using semi-colons in your JavaScript is a way to start a culture war, so I decided […]
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Joe the Class Frully
In the town I was raised, In the school of my youth, The kids hung together In different groups There were kids who liked baseball And kids who sang songs And kids who told jokes And some laughed all day long. But one kid stood out By the name of Joe Tully. The kids all […]
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The Night Before Christmas* (*NOW WITH MORE T-REX)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar plums danc’d in their heads, […]
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Ode to Silly Putty
O glorious, globous goo, You don’t know how much I love you. Pinkish substance, stretching mass, Imprint yourself upon my mind. You are quite silly, O Silly Putty. You stay with me through clean and muddy. Show me backwards newspaper print, Ball of glory, Egg-shaped beauty, Be careful not to pick up lint. Whether pancake, […]