Let Go of Your Stress* (*NOW WITH MORE T-REX)

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As he raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on his face, he inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

He replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” He continued, “The stresses and worries in life are–”

Just then, a low thud reverberated throughout the classroom. The water in the glass rippled with perfectly concentric circles.

“Uh… anybody… anybody hear that?” said Ian, one of the goth students.

The psychologist frowned. “It’s probably nothing.” He smiled. “Nothing to stress out about, anyway.” A few chuckles came from the students. “Like I was saying, stresses and worries and life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to–”

THUD. The water in the glass rippled again.

The psychologist rubbed his head. “And… and if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed–”

THUD. The students began murmuring.

“You’ll feel incapable of doing anything.”

Suddenly, a T-Rex burst into the classroom. The classroom erupted into screams as students scattered in every direction.

“Run!” shouted Ian.

But the psychologist did not run. He stood, frozen on stage, paralyzed. The T-Rex bellowed a cry and lunged for the psychologist, closing its jaws around him. As the jaws crunched, the glass finally dropped from the psychologist’s hand.

T-Rex gobbled the rest of the psychologist, and then tilted his head back in a mighty roar. His massive head knocked loose a banner that said “Let Go Of Your Stress”, and it slowly drifted down to the floor.

MORAL: It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!